Here it was 5:50 am and I was recapping my week and seeing how I could make some adjustments for the week ahead. During my assessment, it crossed my mind that I had been on quite a few dates this month, over 6 to be exact! My date was entertaining, socially conscious, enjoyed reading, beautiful, and her favorite color was Rose Gold. Imagine my surprise when I realized that over the past month I had been "going steady" with myself. Hold heartily, I believe that in creating our hierarchy we must start from within, and let that explosion happen inwardly and progress outwardly. I know what you're thinking, you've heard this whole " date yourself" concept far too many times or maybe you're like my old high school friend, who was tickled pink and shocked to see me coming out of a restaurant alone. I would advise, anyone especially single women between the ages of 25-31 to date yourself. And hold yourself to your own expectations. If your Facebook timeline looks anything like mine then you are constantly faced with the task of dealing with millions ofwedding photos, engagement pictures, and baby 1-5 announcements. And after the first 45 seconds of scrolling Facebook and Instagram it can be a tad bit depressing, if you allow it to be. Dating myself at my own level of expectation allowed me to fully value what I had to offer, and not feel like I was in a losing race against time. Now dating yourself can a be a little tricky at first and NO dating yourself is not an excuse to be lonely or anti social, it's simply a way of getting to know yourself better!
First things first, pick a date, time and place. Think of somewhere you really want to go and or have been eyeing for a while and book your reservation. Reservation for one please! Now let's keep it all the way Queenly; we all know you wouldn't allow someone to take you to Burger King for a date so pick somewhere you would really enjoy or if you're into fast food places, go ahead and "Have it Your Way".
Secondly... Get dolled up or for my fellas reading this, get suited and booted. Don't go on your date half stepping. I realize that when you look good you feel even better! It is that SIMPLE! Take your time getting ready just as if you were getting ready for a first date with that IG crush you've been eyeing all year.
Thirdly, this isn't a phone date so you won't need your phone, allow yourself a selfie in the car, and maybe a picture of the foodif it makes you feelbut other than that this date is a " No Phone Zone" so turn off your device and put it away. Easier said than done; I KNOW. But if your date was consistently checking their phone then you would be "over it" so hold yourself accountable to the same standards.
Four. Ask the questions you want to know. I mean that's why we go on dates right?!? To get to know the person on the opposite side of the table better, well imagine the person on the opposite side of the table is a mirror looking right back at you! Who are you? What do you enjoy? What are your dreams? Visions? One of the big takeaways I had in answering my first date’s questions was that a lot of my answers were outdated and antiquated, I had become so accustomedin answering them that I never really stopped to update myself about myself. My favorite color was no longer glitter but rather Rose Gold. I enjoyed more than just shopping. I had grown into a person who sought new adventures. These were just a few of my discoveries.
The more questions I asked, the more I realized how much I had grown since the last time I dated myself.I realized that my list of must haves in a mate had totally altered and overall after this my dating experience would never be the same.
Lastly, bring a journal and something to write with. You're probably thinking why?!? Well, this is your space to answer your questions and dialogue with your date. Today, get a journal and write down the list of questions below for your date. Take them with you on your date and keep yourself occupied with the" conversation". This is a great way of tracking your dating progress and even holding yourself accountable. When you get to know you better and learn how to treat you, then you are better equipped to show others how to do so. Happy dating! And remember, no “Netflix and Chill"
Until next time Queens
Create your own Hierarchy,
- What is your favorite color?
- What type of music could you listen to all day?
- If you only had 24 hours where would you go and why?
- Who is your all time favorite person in history? Dead or Alive
- What do you do for a living and why?
- Do you feel as though you couldn't live without what you are doing for a living?
- If you had a week off from work and an unlimited amount of money what would you do?
- If you could rate your relationship with your parents from a 1-10, what would be your number and why?
- What makes you undeniably happy?
- If you could have anything in the world to eat with no restrictions what would it be?
- Name three movies you could watch all day
- Where do you see yourself in the next 18 months?
- Who is in your circle ( friends) and why?
- Who do you call on for emergencies?
- What is your purpose in life? How did you discover it?
- What do you do to relax for the day?
- Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Why?